arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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