Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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