You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize