I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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