I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So many bounce houses so little time
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
