Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
where am i from again
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
