Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
