Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
