you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
