We're facebook friends in real life
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
