Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
