I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
