How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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