Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ok first of all what the fuck
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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