On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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