Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
