grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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