I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
