In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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