the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
handjob tips. give me some.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
