If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
