she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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