Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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