She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
