Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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