Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
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finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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