So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
