it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
