I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
