i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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