I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.