I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter