Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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