you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize