how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
