batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
