I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
