this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
