so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
