he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
