Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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