Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
