I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
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We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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