she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
