Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
