she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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