Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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