My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
