I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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