it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize