he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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