ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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