This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
