She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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