with your own penis?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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