Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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