I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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