Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize