Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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