Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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