i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
