you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
