dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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