that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
