think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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