So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
